Porn: you fingering

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If you’ve seen the Netflix show Sex Education, you’ll have watched seventeen-year-old Amy discover the pleasure of fingering. “I’ve been wanking all night,” she says, delirious, to her friend at school the next day. “I ate four packets of crumpets and I think my clit might drop off.”


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Fingering is a great way to learn about your body and what arouses you, and some people even do it to help them sleep, relax, and dispel stress. Not everyone enjoys fingering, and sometimes it’s not a possibility: those with physical conditions like vaginismus or vulvodynia, or those who have experienced sexual trauma, may feel pain when they try it. Those experiencing mental health conditions like anxiety or depression may not feel pleasure at all. Whether you want to try fingering is entirely up to you, and it’s possible to have a perfectly satisfying sex life without it.

Washing your hands before fingering yourself isn’t always necessary, says Alex White, a counsellor and coach who specialises in sexual issues. Instead, she suggests treating your genitals as a bodily opening like your mouth or eyes: would you wash your hands before touching those?

Before you start fingering, it’s important to manage your expectations. Having a goal to reach a certain level of arousal or orgasm can trigger feelings of self-consciousness and judgement, which can detract from your experiences in the moment, says White. Instead, you might like to get in the mood by watching or listening to porn or doing a sensual activity, like taking a bubble bath.

You should only try fingering — whether it be clitoral, vaginal, or anal — if and when you feel comfortable.

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