Porn: big bouncy boobs
When it comes to videogames, however, whilst the prospect of a bit of titillation is always alluring, the boobs presented on screen often just perplex me. That’s right, big bouncy videogame boobs sometimes leave me confounded. In some cases, angry, even.
Another issue I have with big bouncy boobs in videogames is that they give unrealistic expectations to hopeful gamers. They’re always so perfectly shaped and pert – when your average boob-ogling gamer finally gets to see a real pair they’ll more than likely be disappointed by what’s in front of their eyes. Perhaps the biggest surprise for them will be nipples – real, actual nipples that most boobs in videogames seem to be bereft of. Coming, like boobs, in all shapes and sizes, many a gamer will be left in awe as the stark realisation sets in that their favourite videogames have been lying to them all these years. Honestly gamers, it’s in your best interests for game developers to stop filling your heads with lofty expectations. Boobs and nipples are fun no matter their shape or size. I’m doing you a favour here by highlighting their heinous depiction in videogames. You can thank me later.
In the end, I guess there are a few exceptions where big bouncy boobs are okay. In games like or maybe, where watching giant mounds of flesh defy the laws of gravity is pretty much all they have going for them. They do not have a place in games like Resident Evil though – I have enough on my plate managing my inventory and running away from a pissed-off Tyrant to care about Jill Valentine’s subtle chest wobble thankyouverymuch. And please, please, for the love of god, game developers; make sure your game is half decent and free of bugs before you start constructing impossibly perfect breasts for your characters and painstakingly animating them to move around like a couple of shitty Poundland footballs in a Jacuzzi.
Stupid Things in Videogames – Episode 2: Big Bouncy Boobs
A Super Sexy Double Disc Delight! SEXY BRITISH ADVENTURES is an energetic mix of parody, farce, slapstick and double entendres, and rife with loads of delectable British babes. BIG BOUNCY BRITISH BOOBS BONANZA features The Magnificent Millicent, the most see to believe Mel and other SUPER-STACKED GLAMOUR GIRLS!
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